You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
my liver is dry heaving
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