is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
