Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
