I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
