so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
