I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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