return my video game
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Randomize
