Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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