Can i not drive my cunt home
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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