I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
