so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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