Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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