Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
love makes seman taste better
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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