I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
