yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
