And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
