I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
