Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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