Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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