I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
