she looked like the before picture.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
