Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
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In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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