We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I want to be your penis for a week.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
