TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
