I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
