At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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