Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
