Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
