Me too!
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
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And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
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It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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