i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
