dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My ass is underappreciated
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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