i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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