he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
