There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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