You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
