Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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