"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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