I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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