Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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