it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
