Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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