How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
