Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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