My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
