hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
