Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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