you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
