Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
