I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
high people should be assigned attendants
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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