Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
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Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
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this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together