i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.