I forgot how hot balto sounded
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
