Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize