Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
