Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
