Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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