But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We had to coat check the pizza.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
