STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
