So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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