all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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