Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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