i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
