go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
