I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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