today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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