I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
